Title: [GRIT][filk][demented] The THWAP Megamix Author: deva@mail.wizard.net (Kuno Christoffel) Date: Thu, 9 Oct 1997 19:40:20 -0400 The THWAP Megamix: A Medly of Songs Dedicated to Amy Tagle and her "Stick of Thwapping". Based on the musical stylings of Billy Joel and Jonathan Richman. Adapted by Kuno Christoffel. Dedicated to Sourcerous Bitches and Space Cows everywhere. -- Just because I'm Amy, he thinks I have no reason... for being violent. He who dared to compliment me, Is just getting his cummupance, as you plainly see! Vince: Hey, Amy. You're not going to... hit me, are you? Amy: Um, no, no. Vince: You aren't. Are you going to kick me, then, while my back is turned? Amy: Uh, no I'm not. Vince: Then are you planning to... zap me over our mindlink? Amy: No, I'm really not... Vince: Oh. So you're going to THWAP me, is that it? -- She THWAPs me once, she THWAPs me twice, As she is behooved. The bruises are black and they cover my body And it hurts too much to move. I've been thrown, I've been beaten, I've been broken like a son of a gun. But I lie there bleedin', And pitifully pleadin', For her to give me the chance to run. Then she says she doesn't remember Beating me to half death that day, And she's so quick with her bokken I can't even dodge the blaaaaade... -- One, two... one, two, three... Getting THWAPed by Amykins, waaaaaaaa-oh, waaaaaaaa-oh, Getting THWAPed by Amykins, waaaaaaaa-oh, waaaaaaaa-oh, I was getting THWAPed by Amykins, One summer day. And she had broken my legs so bad, I couldn't run away. I didn't do a thing to provoke her, That's the truth, Except tell her that she had some spinach, Stuck to her tooth. I fell unconcious again and again, Getting THWAPed by Amykins... -- Amy and Jo liked to run the show, They were the cutest couple in GRIT. She beat him up bad when he looked at another But he said it didn't hurt a bit. Everyone ran when they came near, That kendoist was a source of great fear. They were worried that she'd take away their life Surely there was no way that Jo could ever survive. Woah-oh, woah-oh, woah-oh... -- I met this angry tomboy today~ay Yes, she took my arm away~ay. My-oh Amykins, oh, Amykins Ohhhhh, ohhhhhh, ohhhhhh. Built like a gorilla but twice as stro~ong, I knew I wouldn't be standing very lo~ong. My-oh Amykins, oh, Amykins (angry girl, now!) Ohhhhh, ohhhhhh, ohhhhhh. Really THWAPing... My-oh Amykins, oh, Amykins Ohhhhh, ohhhhhh, ohhhhhh. -- She can THWAP with her bokken, She can ZAP with her mind, She can beat you severly just for being too kind. And she'll pound you into dust, you just wait and see. You call her a tomboy, But she's always Amykins to me... She can beat you all day, Then keep going all night. You'll run when you see her, Because she's such a fright, And her headlock is so tight that you can never break free. And the most she will do is horribly THWAP you, But she's always Amykins to me... -- Gather around for a minute or two, And I'll admit something to you. I get intrigued when women get... violent. Call me suicidal, but I stare at them Kendoist Girls. It's not the big stick, It's not the way they dress, It's the look in their eyes, gonna beat you to death! Kendoist Girl, Kendoist Gi~i~irl, I get so concussed when she acts like a kendoist girl! Go little Kendoist Girl, Go little Kendoist Girl... Woooo! Go little Kendoist Girl, Go little Kendoist Girl, Angry now, THWAP me now, go little kendoist gi~i~irl... -- She stood in Zuni's, Waving her bokken, Leading up to that major THWAP! Like a tomboy She beat me u~up. She gave me a bruise, It was black and blue. How many painkillers will it TAKE Until the hurt Goes away from my gu~ut? Wooooahhhhhoooooohhhhhhh.... Even though I did nothing wrong, I'm about to get THWAPed by Amy... I know it won't be long, Until I get THWAPed by Amy... Just for singing this song, I know I'll get THWAPed by Amy... THWAPed by Amy... THWAPed by Amy... -- Amy: Grrrr... how DARE you write this about me! RL Kuno: It... te... But I think you're cute... Amy: Grrrr... how DARE you say I'm cute! -- Kuno Christoffel deva@mail.wizard.net - http://www.wizard.net/~deva/ "There are three things I refuse to tolerate: cowardice, bad haircuts and military insurrection. And it is unfortunate (heh, heh) that our friend Vegeta posesses all three of these." - Frieza, Dragonball Z