From:Kuno Christoffel (deva@wizard.net)
Subject:[GRIT][KURASHIKKU] The Cute Girl Test 
Newsgroups:rec.arts.anime.misc
Date:2001-04-28 14:50:51 PST 


Now that Google has posts back to '95 (sigh, I hate myself), here is a
  plast from the bast (TM):

-----

Tired of Cute wars?  Now you can put your favorite maiden through

THE CUTE GIRL TEST 2.0.

Yes, finally an objective way of determining which cute girl
is the best cute girl.  A positive score indicates a cute girl,
and the girl with the highest score is the cutest!  Unless your
girl didn't win, in which case the test is worthless and biased.
But it is _definitively_ biased.  Now with new categories, bonuses,
and penalties, some suggested by R.a.a.m. members, some... not.

Give your girl ten points to start with, then go through the following
categories, adding and subtracting points.  Skip questions marked with
ellipses unless previous condition was true.


** APPEARANCE **

Girl is shaped like a long-legged hourglass, +10 points.
Girl is shaped like a real person, +3
Girl is shaped like a pencil, -1
Girl is shaped like a fireplug, radish, prune, or beachball, -10
Girl has extra eyes, arms, ears, etc.  -5 per *class* of part.
     ... If parts are sexual in nature, additional -5 (H. penalty).
Girl is not actually shaped like anything, but is actually a projection,
     hologram, or other illusion, -5.
Girl has an eye height greater than head height/2, -5
Girl has an eye height less than head height/8, -3
Girl is clearly pushing forty, -2
Girl is clearly pushing sixty, -6
Girl is clearly pushing two hundred, -14
Girl is under 18, -2
Girl is under 16, -4
Girl is prepubescent, -8
Girl is fetus, -10.
Girl changes shape, +2
     ... involuntarily, -4
Girl is having a bad hair decade, -3

** INTELLIGENCE **

Girl is stupider than head cheese, toaster ovens, and Tatewaki Kuno, -10
Girl is brighter than Kuno, but still repeats actions that didn't work
     the first time, -5
Girl is intelligent and creative, +6
Girl is *supposed* to be intelligent and creative, but never demonstrates
     it except through technobabble, weird science, and/or computer 
     skills, -4
          ... and she wears glasses, additional -1
          ... and she doesn't date, additional -4
Girl is creative, but not particularly intelligent, +2

** ATTIRE AND FASHION **

Attire is tasteful and alluring, +8
Attire is tasteful but reserved, +4
Attire is alluring but trashy, +2
Girl wears sexy high-heeled shoes for social occasions, +2
GIrl wears sexy high-heeled shoes for kicking ass, -2
Attire is silly, -2
Attire is ugly, -4
Girl cross-dresses, -4
   ... but is still unmistakably female, regain +2

** PERSONALITY **

Girl is kind to animals, +2
Girl is kind to people, +4
     ... even ones she doesn't like, additional +4
Girl is kind to machines, -1

Girl is loyal, +3
    ... to people who clearly don't deserve it, -7
Girl is polite, +1
    ... even to criminals, punks, and hellspawn, -3
Girl is happy and upbeat +4
     ... even in the face of calamity, -5
Girl fulfills her promises, +5
     ... and threats, reduce -2
     ... even when they no longer matter, reduce -3
Girl thinks the world has gone to hell in a handbasket, -4
     ... but she's right, +7
Girl ever asks "What is the meaning of love" or any
     variation thereof, -10
          ... and she follows it up with "What is kiss", additional -5
Girl strips naked in public -5
   ... and then complains that everyone is staring at her, additional -5
Girl is obsessed with her own cuteness or lack thereof, -6
     ... but only because some yoyo keeps questioning it, regain +5

Girl is surly and truculent, -1
Girl argues with people, -1
Girl argues with animals, -4
     ... but they argue back, +2
Girl is arrogant or snotty, -3
Girl is chronically jealous, -4
Girl is manipulative, -4
Girl reacts violently to minor insults and slights, -7
Girl reacts violently to being groped, +3
Girl is detached from reality, -2
Girl is utterly bonkers, -7
Girl is heartless and cold, -8
Girl is Evil(tm),-10
     ... but she's got style, regain +5.

Girl has no personality whatsoever, -10

** RESPONDS TO DANGER **

by laughing, +2
     ... insanely, -7
by protecting loved ones, +4
     ... and people she doesn't like, additional +6
          ... because it's part of her job, reduce -2
by using stock footage, -10
by crying, clutching, whining, and being generally counterproductive, -7
by skedaddling, +2
by being Tearfully Brave, +1
by making impassioned speeches, -4
by serving tea, +1 for style.

If girl is never placed in danger, +4 for normalcy.

** ROMANTIC SITUATION **

Note: only score romantic complications *directly affecting* the
character.

Girl has steady SO, +4
Girl is at apex of love triangle, +6
     ... and dithers endlessly about it, reduce -3
Girl is secondary participant in love triangle, -2
     ... and triangle has extra sides, -2 per side.
Girl is mooning after a guy who's emotionally unavailable, -4
     ...because he's been dead for two years, additional -2
     ...because he's gay, additional -4
Girl is mooning after another girl who is straight, -10
Girl is widely admired, +5
     ... by morons who do nothing but cause trouble, -7.
Girl is in love, but pretends she isn't, -7
     ... because he acts like an immature jerk, regain +5

** GIRL DIES **

Fighting Evil +5
Fighting Good +1
Of Ali McGraw disease, -6
For love +5
     ... of some guy who never liked her anyway, -10
For no damn reason, -5
And it solves a love triangle, -4
But she gets better, -10.

** SKILLS, POWERS, AND OTHERS **

Girl has marital arts, mecha piloting, or other fighting skills, +2
Girl has magical or psionic powers, +4
Girl has cybernetic implants, +2
Girl calls out exactly what she's doing when she uses her skills or
powers, -6
     ... but she's allowed to whisper, regain +2

Girl is a goddess, angel, or supernatural being, +2
     ... and actually in charge of something important, additional +2
     ... but has nothing better to do than minister to some dork, -4.
Girl is unaging and practically immortal, +3
Girl is a vampire or demon, -9

Girl is gainfully employed, +8
     ...in an unlawful or illegal enterprise, -5
     ...in a military or law enforcement capacity, extra +2

Girl is a Rescue Doll, -5
Girl is a MAN, -10.

Girl can sing, +4
     ... and insists on doing so every ten minutes, -2.
     ... and can stop a horribly beweaponed space battle fleet
              with one giddy pop song, -7.

Girl has cute little pet, +6
Girl IS cute little pet, +1
Girl has distinctly uncute pet, +3
Girl speaks respectfully to pet, -2
Girl takes orders from pet, -10
Girl has pet which is actually something dangerous, like a
     spaceship or Ryouga Hibiki, -2
          ... and she thinks it's just a pet, additional -2.

Girl can cook, +4
Girl can't cook, but does so anyway, -4
Girl won't eat her own cooking, -3
Girl's cooking is actually dangerous, -4

Girl's Japanese is poor, -2
    ... and she ISN'T a foreigner, additional -5

Girl speaks English +2
     ... badly, -1
         ... and English is her native tongue, further -5

Girl sounds like she's been sucking helium, -3

And, finally,

Girl has some clown on the net willing to engage in a shouting match on
her behalf,
     -2 per clown.

-- 

                       | "You are impassive to mate with yesterday.
Kuno Christoffel       | "I am aggressive to wait for tomorrow.
deva@wizard.net        | "Why don't you take off your backwards desire?
www.wizard.net/~deva   | "That's wrapping you like a heavy coat to tire."
                       |    - In Japan, everyone speaks English!  Really!