A Fire-born Chrysalis (Third and final revision) By Steven Scougall Quick important note to those who don't know Japanese: "Nii-san" means "older brother" and "Nee-san" means "older sister". Timeframe: Right after 'Rise and Try to Shine'; Steve has just fallen asleep. --- Steve and Wing's room --- Or, to be more accurate, not Steve and Wing's room, but rather Steve's mental dreamscape. Yes, this is a Vision Quest (tm). Settle back and enjoy the ride. Or not, as the case may be. In this vision / dream, Steve is wandering through a mist-shrouded field. A *very* wrecked field. What grass is visible is brown and dead, there are many patches of bare, pockmarked, earth, and the ground is uneven. There are many rocks and holes dotted around the landscape, and there seems to be a crater off in the distance. Steve: Great. Another vision with lots of mist. Just once I'd like to have a vision that doesn't have a mist machine somewhere in the background. There is laughter - it sounds like Ann's voice. But that wasn't the way Ann laughs. Ann laughs musically, happily, and, well, like a girl. This is a lower-pitched laugh, filled with quiet amusement. It's more like a chuckle than anything else. Still, that *was* Ann's voice, he thinks. Steve: (Peering into the mist, trying to make things out) Ann? Are you in here too? Voice: (Amused) In a sense... and in another, more important, sense, no. Some of the mist rolls back to reveal a female figure sitting in mid-air. It should come as no surprise that the female figure is the one Steve has been changing into all morning. That is, very Ann-like in appearance and voice, but with longer hair and pointed ears. At first glance, she is wearing the same clothes at Steve, but on a closer look the short-sleeved shirt and dark-coloured pants are desiged and fitted for her female form. Steve: You? The woman laughs again. It isn't a malicious or superior or arrogant laugh, just one of great amusement, as if she's in on a great big joke Steve hasn't got yet. Steve: (Aggravated) *What* is so funny? Woman: (Still with the amused tone) You calling me "you". You still haven't got it, have you? Steve: Well what *should* I call you? "Annoying girl form", perhaps? The woman jumps up from her mid-air perch, flies towards him and lands in front of him. Woman: How about calling me me? Steve: But I don't know who you are! Woman: (Sighs) You know how this goes. I can't tell you anything plainly. She steps forwards, becoming ghostly, and steps through Steve. He gets a sudden chill as she passes through him, and then it's gone. He whirls around to find her, to see her ghostly outline fading completely from view, smiling and waving goodbye to him. Steve: What? Where'd- Steve stops when he hears his voice. Which is, at the moment, *her* voice. Steve looks down and confirms that once again, he has become a she. Steve: What? She concentrates, but instead of the familiar *sha-fwhoof* and flame aura, there is instead a *shfrrrp* sputtering noise, a faint flicker of red, and no change. Steve: What?? Woman's voice: (Echoing all around her, and in her head, sounding amused again) Not in *my* domain. Steve: What??? --- Steve and Wing's room --- Steve's eyes open and she jerks upwards. Nervously, just to make sure the signals her body is sending her brain are correct, she looks down and confirms she's female, then looks up, flushing red. She belatedly realises that if she's going to be waking up female until she works out what's going on, she really should start doing her buttons up before she goes to sleep. Voice: (Slightly amused, slightly embarassed) Honestly, nii-san... Steve: (Mortified, quickly pulling her shirt closed) Ack! Sis!! Do you *mind*? Ann: I never thought you'd develop feminine modesty like that... (Voice takes on a teasing edge) ...nee-san. Steve: -_- I am *not* your big sister. Ann: You sure look like it. ^_~ Steve: Whatever. The temporary girl concentrates - Instead of the familiar *sha-fwhoof* and flame aura, there is instead a *shfrrrp* sputtering noise, a faint flicker of red, and Steve doesn't change back to male. Steve: What? Ann: You can't change back? Steve concentrates on the change again, putting more of a mental shove into it, but all she gets is the sputtering noise and faint flickering again. Steve: What what WHAT?? Ann: You *really* can't change back? Steve: What's going on? Ann speaks - but instead of just one voice, seems to speak with a number of different voices at the same time, some in English, some in Japanese: Not in *this* domain, nee-san. I always wanted a sister to do sister things with. Ann: I've been waiting for this for so long! Whose domain are you in? Yours or hers or mine? Congratulations on your rebirth, nee-san! Steve gapes at Ann in amazement. Her sister cocks her head and looks back. Ann: Is something wrong? (Realises the absurdity of her statement) I mean... why are you looking at me like that? Is there something on my face? Steve: You... you just spoke with five different voices. No, five different things, all at the same time... Ann: Did I? Steve starts to respond in the affirmative, but then realises there's a playful, almost teasing note to the question. Suddenly wary, she looks again at her sister's face, and sees an uncharacteristic playful expression in Ann's eyes. Realisation dawns. Steve: You... you're not Ann, are you? You're *her*. This is still a vision, isn't it? 'Ann' stands up from the chair as her hair lengthens and her ears grow pointed, becoming the woman from Steve's earlier vision - which is now obviously still going. The room fades around them, becoming the pocked landscape once more. Woman: Answering your second question first - yes, it is. But as for your first question... I will answer with two more questions. Who is Ann? Who are you? Steve: What kind of stupid questions are those? Ann is Ann and I'm me! The woman shakes her head and fades, as does the landscape, and Steve realises with a start that he - that is, she - is lying down in bed, looking up at the ceiling of her and Wing's room, and her sheets are all twisted around her as if she's been thrashing around in her sleep. She sits up and looks down to confirm she's female, then looks up, embarassed. If she's going to be waking up female from now on, she really should start doing her buttons up. Before she realises what she's doing, she's done half the buttons on her pajama top up. She makes a sound of annoyance, realising she's being stupid - all she needs to do is change back to male, and she - well, he - would be decent. She concentrates- It is not entirely a surprise when there is the *shfrrrp* sputtering noise, a faint flicker of red, and her not changing back. It's happened twice this morning already. Steve finishes doing her buttons up and sits up in bed for a few moments, thinking. Is this the vision again? Or has she woken up for real this time? She looks around the room sharply, trying to catch anything that looks like an error, something that will betray if the room was suddenly about to become the shattered landscape again. She listens carefully for the laughter and voice of the woman but hears nothing. Maybe it *is* reality. Her body and Fire have been springing so many surprises on her lately, she wouldn't be surprised if this was just the latest wackiness to befall her. She sighs and hops out of the top bunk to the floor, landing with an easy grace. Well, if she's going to be stuck as a girl for a while, she's sure she can put up with it. Jo's managed it and Ranma's managed it, surely she can manage it too. She gets out and puts on the thin yukata she uses as a bathrobe, is about to head to the baths, but stops. Something's wrong. Something, she's not sure what, is not right with this building that she's called home for so many months. Suddenly it clicks. She's not hearing anything. There should be the sound of chaos somewhere in the building. There should be voices, faintly heard through the half-open door. At this time of day, she should be able to hear activity in the kitchen as the restaurant prepares for lunch. She should be able to hear activity in the dojo. What's going on? Jo, female, wearing a bunny suit and carrying a Zuni's waitress outfit all but bounces into the room. Steve: (Relieved) Ah, it must still be a vision. Jo: Huh? Steve: I had a weird vision, and at one point I thought I'd woken up. But I couldn't change back to male, and it became obvious I was still in the vision quest. I still can't change back to male, and the lack of noise and you in the bunny suit pretty much proves that this is still a vision. Jo: Well, with all the recent chaos I decided we needed a holiday, everybody's at a nearby park being taught how to play cricket by Wing, and all my other clothes were in the wash. Steve: ...you have a bunny suit - never mind. And the waitress outfit? Jo: Well if you're stuck as a girl you're not going to be able to wear your usual waiter's outfit. It'll squish your boobs pretty damn painfully, and the pants won't fit right. Steve: ...how'd you know I was stuck as a girl? Jo: ...oh, alright, this *is* another vision. Steve: Thought so. Jo and the room fade to white - a white which, Steve realises, is the white of the ceiling. She's woken up *again*. She sits up, finishes doing up the buttons on her shirt - then realises she didn't even notice she was doing them up in the first place. It was just automatic. She looks down, giving herself a quick once-over just to make sure she's a girl. She is. Not entirely sure if this will work, she concentrates on changing back, and isn't surprised in the least when the shapeshifting sputters out and completely fails to work. Steve: Is this still the vision? Wing: Hm? Steve looks over to see Wing rummaging through his clothes. The Chinese man is covered in dust. Steve: Wing? What's with the dust all over you? Wing: Oh, I'm helping to clear up the wreckage outside. Steve: Helping who? Wing: Aoryuu and Jesse. Steve: (Racking her brain) The tall boy that looks like Kon, and the girl who has that knot in her hair. Wing: Yeah. Anyway, I quickly figured these clothes aren't the best for hauling rubble and stuff around, so I thought I'd get something more appropriate. Steve: Makes sense. She concentrates on the noises of Zuni's, and with a suddenness, she can hear almost everything going on at Zuni's: The babble of voices comes from all over the building; Aoryuu and Jesse bantering in the courtyard, wondering where Wing's got to; the kitchen as it gets ready for lunch, both the staff's and lunch for the crowd; Mariko bussing around the dining area, getting it ready; voices and sparring noises from the dojo; and even the faint noise of water from the baths. It's rather disconcerting to be able to hear everything going on, she realises. She wonders how the other people with amazing hearing - Stark, Kappa, and others - have managed. Steve: Whoa, all these *noises*... Wing: Say, aren't you going to change back? Steve: For some reason, I can't. Wing: No? Steve: (Smiles ruefully) Haven't the foggiest idea why. Jo: (Currently male, comes into the room) Right, Steve- oh, you're up. (Wary tone) So how are you? Steve: Well, I feel more rested, but for some reason I can't change back. Jo: Huh? Steve: Let me demonstrate. She concentrates, and the shapeshifting effect sputters out and leaves her unchanged. Wing looks on, watching properly this time, and Jo scratches his chin. Steve: See? It just sputters out. Jo: ...weird. Steve: You said it. Wing: You don't know why it's happening? Steve: Well, I had all these weird visions, where this form was a separate person, and she kept on saying all sorts of cryptic stuff about who I am, who Ann is, and who she was. I woke up, but it was just another part of the vision and I couldn't change back. I woke up again but it was just another vision. I must say, at first I thought this was just another part of the vision, explaining why I was stuck yet again, but it definitely seems like reality this time. Jo and Wing share a glance - it's a "here Steve goes again" look. Jo: Well, in any case, if you're currently stuck in female form, you're going to have to wear the female uniform today. Steve: Yeah? Jo: Of course. I mean, with that figure of yours, your male uniform would be really uncomfortable. Pause, as Steve remembers that the Jo in the vision said pretty much the same thing. Steve: This *is* reality, isn't it? Wing: Why do you ask? Steve: Well, in the vision dream thing I had just before waking up, Jo was telling me much the same thing. There is another pause - No, not a pause. Jo and Wing have frozen in place. A breeze was blowing through the room's open window; it's stopped blowing, and Wing and Jo's hair is in mid-ruffle. All the sounds of Zuni's that Steve had shoved to the background and was ignoring have stopped. Steve: What's going on? The woman that she's been seeing in the visions fades into view, in between Jo and Wing. Woman: (Voice strained) Dammit, why do you keep rebelling? Steve: Huh? Rebelling against what? Woman: I can't tell you! I have to use these visions! *Try* to understand! Steve: But understand what? You haven't told me anything! You're just cryptic all the time! I don't even know who you are or why I keep changing into you all the time or why I'm stuck as you or anything! Woman: I *told* you, I *can't* tell you! It doesn't work that way! It'll never work that way! (Starts screaming, tears of frustration in her eyes) I've been trying to tell you for so long, but with your *stupid* Fire in the way and your *stupid* antics you've never *heard* and only *now* have I got a - The room suddenly fades to white, as the woman's voice becomes a voiceless scream of rage - Steve: Wait! Don't just send me on another- - the woman's scream modulates into the steady beeping of an alarm clock, the white becomes the white of the ceiling - Steve: - vision... (Uncertainly) What the *hell* is going on? What was that about the Fire and my stupid antics getting in the way? Wing: Steve? Steve: (Looks at Wing suspiciously) Is this reality? Wing: Huh? Steve: (Absently doing up the buttons on her shirt) I've been having visions within dreams within visions all morning. They make no *sense*. And there's this woman that looks like me who never makes *any* sense. The visions have been getting better and better and more realistic, but the one weird thing in all of them is that I'm stuck as a girl, unable to change back. Wing: ...oh. O_O Steve concentrates, making another attempt at changing back to male, but the shapeshifting effect sputters out again. Wing: You can't change back? Steve: No. (sighs) No offense, Wing, but I think this might be another vision. Wing: None taken. I think it might be, too. Steve: Huh? You *do*? Wing: When was the last time I worried about getting dust and stuff on my clothes when doing heavy lifting? That doesn't make sense to me. Steve: ...oh. Wing: Anyway, if it is a vision, can I make a suggestion before it finishes? Steve: Yeah? Wing: Does your shapeshifting work for other forms? Can you grow your wings? Can you grow talons? That sort of thing. Steve: I dunno. Let me check. She hops out of bed into the center of the room, where there's a clear space. Steve: You'd better stand clear. Wing: (Amiably) Sure thing. (He ambles over to the wall) Steve concentrates on wings, and suggests them to her shapeshifting - With a whoosh and a flame aura effect around her back and the resultant wings, great red wings grow from her upper back. Steve: Well, *that* worked. She concentrates on shapeshifting to male, in much the same way she grew the wings, and once again the effect sputters out and fails. Steve: *sighs* And that fails. Why? Wing: Well what does the woman say to you? Steve: Cryptic stuff. That she can't tell me what's going on. Vague questions about who she is, who I am, and who Ann is. (Racks her brain, trying to remember everything the woman's been saying.) To call her who she is. To understand what she's trying to say. To stop rebelling against her. That she's been trying to tell me stuff but my Fire and stupid antics keep getting in the way. Wing: Any idea what she means? Steve: Not really. Especially that bit about rebelling, the Fire and my stupid antics. I mean, rebelling against what? Wing: She doesn't say? Steve: Nah, she says she can't tell me. Then she started screaming about me rebelling and my Fire getting in the way and so on. Wing: Huh. Weird. Steve: Yeah. Pause. Wing: Say, Steve? Steve: Yeah? Wing: What's it like being like that? Being a girl? Steve: Wouldn't really know. I've been changing back as soon as I can, and I've been too off balance from these weird visions to really think about what it's like. Wing: Well what about now? Steve: Well... weird. Sitting down is different, I have to walk different and my balance feels weird and making that landing was harder than normal - hell, my whole body feels weird. Wing: ^_- No doubt. Steve: (Small smile) Well... yeah. There is a pause. Steve turns her wings off, pulls her deskchair over and sits down heavily into it, once again hyper-aware of just how different moving around in this body is. Steve: This is really strange. Usually the visions have ended by now. Maybe this *is* reality. Wing: Yeah? What causes them to stop? Steve: Well the woman shows up, or I ask if it's a vision, or both, and the people in the visions say it is a vision and not reality, and then it ends and the next starts. Wing: (Musing) And so far, you haven't done anything like that. Steve: But I *did* say I thought this was a vision, and you agreed. Wing: Didn't she say you were rebelling? Maybe you haven't rebelled yet. Against whatever it is you've been rebelling against. Steve: (Muttering) It'd be nice if I knew *what* I was rebelling against... Wing: Yeah. I might be just a figment of someone's imagination, and I'm curious too. Have you ever had that feeling where the floor drops from beneath your feet, and your stomach turns icy cold and plunges into the abyss that has opened below you? Well, Steve doesn't feel like that, but a chill comes over her, in a manner suggesting that the feeling is a definite future option. If this is a vision, then of course this Wing's a figment of the imagination. But whose? If he's a figment of the woman's imagination, then she knows Wing *very* well... He hasn't seemed out of character or done anything particularly strange so far. Steve: (Slowly) If you *are* a figment of the imagination... then you're a very good one. Wing: ^_^ Thanks. Steve: But how does this woman know you so well? Wing: Well, describe her. Steve: As I said, she looks just like me. Like a twin, or a clone, or something. Wing: Hm... maybe she's a malevolent spirit that knows this area very well, and has decided to take on your shape and torment you? Steve: ...this is getting crazy. (Rubs her temples) I'm going to have a nice soak in the furo and then talk to Jo about what uniform I need. Wing: Well, if you just modified the male one a bit, it'd work - Steve: Because it wouldn't fit this figure normally, yes, yes, I know. (sighs) There are footsteps in the hallway outside, and then Jo comes into the room. Jo: (Currently male) Right, Steve- oh, you're up. (Wary tone) So how are you? Steve: Well, I feel more rested, but for some reason I can't change back. Jo: Huh? Steve: Let me demonstrate. She concentrates, and the shapeshifting effect sputters out and leaves her unchanged. Wing looks on, watching properly this time, and Jo scratches his chin. Steve: See? It just sputters out. But when I concentrate on some other sort of shapeshifting... (she grows and banishes her wings as a demonstration) ...it works fine. Jo: ...weird. Steve: You said it. Jo: Any idea why? Steve: (Looks at Wing, back at Jo, and shrugs) I've been having weird visions where I can't change back all morning. Either this is another one, which Wing and I think is a definite possibility, or it's just another Weird Steve development of the Day. Jo: O_o A vision? Steve: Wing said he didn't feel completely right. As if he was doing something that didn't make sense and he wouldn't normally do. Pause. Jo: (Shakes head) I dunno, Steve. I haven't had anything like that this morning. This might be reality instead. What's been happening in these visions, anyway? Steve tells Jo a quick summary of the visions so far. Jei comes into the room halfway through the explanations, to see what's taking Jo so long. Jo: ...weird. Jei: You said it. Jo: We'll discuss the uniforms later. But you should probably hit the furo first, and get freshened up. This might just be another of your visions, but if it's going to be of a normal day you're going to do normal things in it. Jei: O_o This is another vision? Steve: Could be. Jei: Weird. Jo: You said it. Steve shrugs, and heads for the furo. It might be a vision, but challenging the visions has got her nowhere. She decides to play along with it, for now. She slides the door to the furo open - then realises she's entering the men's bath. She shrugs again. On reflection, it's the better side to go to. In the women's, anybody there would quickly work out who she was and she'd face hostility and the possibility of severe bodily harm. On the men's side, she'll get challenged, but not beaten up and hurled outside. Thankfully, nobody is present. Certain things happen that shall be glossed over, and that Steve tries to ignore as much as possible. (Author's Note: ^_~) Steve soaks in the furo, looking at the ceiling and contemplating the weirdness of things. The door slides open. Steve turns around to see Aoryuu. Aoryuu looks back and gets very red in embarassment. Aoryuu: Hey! This is the *men's* side! Steve: Normally I *am* a guy. For some reason I'm stuck as a girl. Aoryuu, wasn't it? Aoryuu: (Still on guard) Yes. And you? Steve is about to give her name, and pauses. It strikes her as just how ridiculous it is for someone that looks like a woman to give her name as a definitively male one. She shrugs. Aoryuu tries not to stare, and Steve tries not to let his staring get to her. Steve: Steve. Aoryuu: Because you're really a guy? Steve: Yeah. Aoryuu: What happened? Steve: Well, see, I've just recently gained some shapeshifting powers. (For demonstration she holds out her hand and transforms her fingernails and tips of her fingers into talons, then back again.) See? For some reason when I woke up this morning the shapeshifting had gone haywire and I was female. I could change back then, but I kept on becoming female throughout the morning, and eventually I *couldn't* change back. Aoryuu shrugs. The story is clearly ridiculous, but he's been getting used to ridiculous stories around here very very quickly. And besides, he was once dead and got better. In the face of that, involuntary sex changes aren't *too* weird. He starts soaping and rinsing, the prelude to actually getting into the hot tub. Aoryuu: Do you know why you can't change back? Steve doesn't want to bring the whole 'because this is some weird vision' story back up again. Besides, she's not entirely sure about that idea anymore. She's been suggesting this could be a vision quite a few times now, and it hasn't ended yet. Steve: Haven't the foggiest. Aoryuu: What are you going to do if you can't change back ever? Steve: I haven't thought that far ahead yet. Aoryuu: You'd have to do something about your name, even. Steve: Yes, but it's not going to come to that. I'm going to work out why it's happened, why these visions keep happening, and then - Woman's voice: (Sadly) You were doing so *well*, too... All fades and swirls to white, and then Steve realises she's back in her room staring at the white ceiling. She sits up and looks at the clock, and it says it's the morning again. Wing is by his dresser, picking out clothes suitable for heavy lifting. Steve: (Flops back in bed) Damn. It *was* a vision. Wing: Steve? You're awake? She tries changing back and it fails. She starts doing up her shirt, then forgets about it and leaves her shirt half undone. After all, she'll just have to do it up again when the next vision starts. Unless she's wrong, this is reality, and because of the Weird Steve Development of the Random Time Period she can't change back. With a snarl she does the rest of the buttons up. Steve: And maybe this is *another* one. Wing: Huh? Steve: It doesn't matter. I'm in an endless cycle of visions, almost like Groundhog Day. Wing: (Struggling to understand) Visions? Groundhog Day? Steve: This might be another one, too. Wing: Now that you mention it - Steve: Yes, I know. You're wondering why you're picking out work clothes when you don't really need them. You said that last time. Wing: O_O Steve: (Sits up, and speaks out loud to the world in general) Come on out! I know you're out there somewhere, watching and listening! Wing: But I'm right here! Steve: I'm talking to the person giving me these visions. Pause. Then another pause. Then another pause, to insert more pausing. Wing: Anou... are you okay, Steve? Steve: NO! I'm not okay! I keep on having weird dreams and visions in which I can't change back to male! But because weird shit always happens to me I can never be sure if I'm in a vision or reality until this mysterious woman who's been giving me the visions shows up, goes all cryptic, and sends me on another vision! I just want them to STOP! Wing: O_O ...oh. Steve: I don't even know *why* I'm having them... Woman's voice: *Try* to understand them! Then you'll know why! Steve: (sigh) Well, that answers that. This is definitely a vision. Wing: Oh? The woman fades into view beside Wing, who cheerfully takes it in stride. Wing: Oh, hi. I'm Wing. Woman: (Sighs) Just as cheerful and accepting as you are in the real world... Steve starts. She just heard what the woman said - a second before she actually said it... Wing: Shouldn't I be? Woman: It's just odd. Once again Steve heard what the woman said in her head, a second before she actually said it. Steve: What's happening? How did I know what you were going to say? Woman: (Turning back to him in surprise, then smiles) Not quite what I intended, but another clue. Jo: (Currently female) (Coming in) A clue? To what? (Sees the woman. Sees Steve, still sitting in bed. She looks between the two for a moment, confused.) What's going on? Why's there two of Steve? Wing: Oh, just another vision, it seems. Jo: A vision? Steve: (Growling) I've been having them all morning! (Indicates the woman) And she's the one sending me on them! Woman: Am I really? Steve: YES! You're the first person I saw when they started! Whenever I rebel - however I'm rebelling against whatever it is - it's your voice I hear! It's you I see! And then you say something weird and cryptic and I go back to now! Woman: Is it *my* voice? Is it *me* you see? Jo: (starts in surprise, and looks rapidly between the woman and Steve) Wait a second- Steve is too caught up in the heat of her reply to notice. Steve: *Yes*! You're you! You're not Ann and you're not me- The woman's face looks utterly sad, and things begin to fade and swirl to white- Jo: (Fading along with the vision, her voice growing fainter and fainter) ...look at her hair... Steve looks at the woman's hair as best she can, with everything fading and distorted - The cowlick, the natural parting of her in her bangs, is on the right side, instead of the left, like hers is. Otherwise, it looks exactly like hers. - realisation sets in. All the things the woman's been saying start to click. It's not the woman Steve sees. It's who Steve sees in the mirror. The time when soaping and rinsing just before getting into the furo, however embarrassing, taught her that. It's not the woman's voice. It's Steve's voice when she's female. It's not Ann's laughter when the woman laughs, but Steve's laughter. Every time Steve has referred to the woman as a separate person, she's gotten all cryptic and sometimes amused. As if Steve's been missing out on something. When the woman spoke to Wing, saying something Steve would normally say, Steve heard the woman thinking it before she said it. The first vision ended when she tried changing back to male. The second ended when she asserted Ann was Ann and she was herself, and the woman said, "But once upon a time, Ann was you and you were Ann." The third ended when she challenged its validity. (But then, she thinks, it was pretty damn ridiculous...) The fourth ended when she challenged it and the woman showed up and went apeshit, ranting about the Fire and her stupid antics. She can still remember her last few words - "only now have I got a", and then being cut off by the vision ending. The fifth ended when, in the furo, she said she would change back. The sixth, the one she just had, ended when challenging the woman, she asserted that the woman isn't Ann or herself. All ending when challenging the woman, referring to her as a separate person, when asserting that she's male. She thinks of one of the woman's quotes again, but this time, with some added punctuation... "Why are you calling me 'you'? How about calling me 'me'?" The enormity of it all hits her in one fell swoop - once again Steve feels like the floor has dropped out from beneath her feet, and her stomach has fallen into the abyss just before she's about to. For the woman *is* her. Or a part of her, at any rate. The white resolves into the wrecked landscape. Steve is standing in the middle of a path that's been cleared through the wreckage, and the woman, ghostly, sits on the ground before Steve, looking up at him with pleading eyes. Steve suddenly realises he's male. It feels...weird, after all the time as a female in the visions he's been having. He changes to female with the full *sha-fwhoof* and flame aura effect- As Steve changes, something travels from her to the woman, and the woman in front of her solidifies. - Steve feels better about that. She sits down before the woman, absently reaching to her shirt to do up the buttons. Then she notices what she's doing and that she doesn't need to bother - she's properly dressed this time. She lets her hands drop to her knees. Steve: You *are* me? The woman nods vigorously. Steve: I couldn't transform because you... that is, the part of me that's you didn't want to? The woman shakes her head. Steve: I kept on changing because that part of me wanted to? And I didn't have full control over that part of me because I was so tired? The woman nods vigorously again. Steve: You said you were like Ann because Ann was once like this? Before she was Ann? The woman nods again. Steve: Once before, you started saying something, but didn't get to finish. That you'd been trying to tell me something for so long, but my Fire and my antics were in the way and I never heard, and it was only now you had something. The woman looks expectant. Steve: You meant to say you now had a voice, right? Through the shapechanging. Because the Fire isn't a problem anymore. Because I don't need the silly antics anymore. She nods, her whole face lighting up in a smile. Steve: But you don't have a voice anymore? The woman shakes her head sadly. Steve: Why not? The woman looks unsure and apprehensive. Steve: I guess that wasn't a fair question, if you don't have a voice... let me think... It doesn't take too long to work it out. Only one little thing changed since the woman last spoke. Admittedly, it has enormous consequences, but it was only a few small words... Steve: It's because I finally accepted who you were. Because now I can speak *for* you? The woman nods. Steve: (sighs) Well, damn. This is weird, and so very very metaphorical... (She taps the side of her head) You're in here and yet in front of me, and all this time I've been asleep, for less than two hours, too... visions and dreams are weird, huh? The woman nods, smiling again. Steve: You... the part of me that's you doesn't want to change back to male? The woman shakes her head. Pause. Steve: (Shakes her head) I... I don't know... this is all so sudden. I'm really a girl? Subconsciously I always have been? I just haven't realised because of everything else happening? I still feel like I'm a guy- The woman looks suddenly frightened. She scrambles forwards and grabs onto Steve's shirt, her eyes wide and pleading, mouthing the words "no no no". Her hands pass through Steve's shirt and Steve realises the woman is becoming ghostly and transparent again. Steve: So that was how I was rebelling? By asserting that I was male? The woman nods vigorously and desperately, trying to hold onto Steve's shirt but her ghostly hands keep passing through the fabric. Steve: (Feeling terrible) But... but... I *am*... There's a whoosh, a flaming aura around him, and when it dies down he is. The woman gives a scream - she's quite definitely audible now - and pounds her fists against Steve's head and shoulders. Considering her hands just pass right through him, this pummelling attempt fails utterly. Woman: No... NO!! YOU/I AREN'T A GUY, DAMMIT! (She shoves her hand against his head - in its ghostly form it passes right through) In here you/I never have been! For twenty three years you/I've been scared, trapped, alone, never feeling right, always wrong, awkward, clumsy... For twenty three years you/I've been a scared lonely girl always wondering why things have been so *wrong*! Didn't the time you/I spent in these visions teach you/me anything? Do you want to spend a whole day here? And another? The words strike him hard - she's right, he never *has* felt quite right. There was always an aloofness with his closest friends, there was always something wrong with the idea of having a girlfriend, and with people in general he always has been feeling awkward and clumsy around other people... The woman's face lights up with hope. But still, does any of that mean he's really, subconsciously, a girl? It seems like quite a monumental leap of logic. And anyway - Steve: But for twenty three years I've lived as a guy and I don't know anything else! I played boy's games! I hung out with the guys! I thought dolls were stupid! I went through the whole bit about girls being icky and having 'girl germs'! I did guy things! I hated English, literature and all the 'girl' subjects! I never had any problems then! Why only now? The woman screams and starts attempting to pummel him again. Jo: Wow. Arguing and fighting with an aspect of your personality. How existential can you get? Steve and the woman - or rather, Steve's long-repressed female side - look around in confusion. Jo, in female form, stands there. Steve: Jo? What are you doing here? Jo: (Shifting to male) Well your mind must have conjured me here. Maybe in an attempt to get a separate view of things. You sure need one. Steve: I... I guess I do... Dammit, what should I *do*? Jo: You don't think you're female? Steve: I... How could I? I've been male for so long! Jo: Well, someone's gender *is* one of their more fundamental things, drilled into them every day of their life. (Shifts to female) It took *me* a long time to get used to the idea of not exactly being a guy myself. Steve: (Nods) Yeah. Jo: Try being female for a while, at least the rest of the day, and preferably a couple of months, just to get a decent amount of time at it... See what happens. See what you prefer. Steve: It's a good idea, but... I'm pretty sure I already know what'll happen. Jo: Oh? Steve: It'll take no time at all. Before the end of the *day* I'll have decided I prefer being female. The woman looks on, interest on her face. Jo: (Shifts to male) Why do you say that? Steve: (Indicates the woman) As much as I was arguing with... um... myself, I... I know she... er, I was right. I don't want it to be right. All I know is being a guy... but... while I was a guy for twenty three years... I find myself wondering if I was ever happy with it. Jo: Surely you would have noticed something by now. Steve: Well, maybe I did. The silly antics and weirdness I kept up? Maybe they weren't just to keep the Fire at bay. Maybe they were helping to mask any weirdness I felt about my gender... Jo: That's only been in the past few- Steve: Jo, I've *always* been acting like that. Who's to say? Maybe it was to mask gender weirdness... maybe it was my way of coping. Jo: Maybe it was because you wanted to? Steve: Okay, so I *wanted* to push people away with stupid comments and weirdness? Pause. Wind blows. Jo shifts to female. Steve: I guess that I haven't been very convicing... I just *know*. Jo: Who's to say? Are you a guy? A girl? Neither? Both? Does it matter? Won't you always be the same person, regardless of your outer shape? Steve: Yes, but... when you're thinking, in your head, you're one thing, but your body says you're the other, wouldn't it be hard to accept that? Wouldn't you want to be what your mind says you are? Jo shifts to male. Steve: You started as male. (Taps his head) In body, in mind too? But for me? (Steve indicates the woman) How long have I had a female voice in my subconscious? If this part of me is to be believed, and I don't see any reason not to, it's been forever. If I was to be female for any length of time, how long would it take for me to prefer the sudden congruity of thought and body? Jo: (To female) So that's it? You'll wake up, switch over to female if you aren't already, and stay like that for the rest of your life? Steve: I... I didn't say that. The woman looks frightened again and grabs Steve's arm, shaking her head, mouthing 'no no no...' Steve: I'm going to need a trial period, just to see... but at least now I *know*. And... if that's how things turn out, then... yes. Jo: It'll be a tragic loss. (She grins) You're just so *cute* as a guy. Steve goes red in embarrassment, and with a whooshing noise and flame effect, changes to female. As she does so, the woman that represents Steve's long repressed side becomes opaque again. Jo: You're not so bad as a girl, either. Steve: Tha- The woman smiles, gets up, and curtsies. Steve: -nks. She looks at the woman quizzically. Once again, she could feel the woman's thoughts, her intention to get up and curtsy, before it happened. Jo: Shall I leave you two to get better acquainted? (Disappears before getting an answer) Steve: (Muttering) And that vision of Jo was just some part of *my* imagination and explaining all this was difficult... (Thinks of Chyron) And Chyron... this is going to be such a huge blow to her. She sighs, and the woman looks sad. Steve: (Mutters) I would have been a crap boyfriend anyway. The woman giggles soundlessly. Steve: (Still muttering) Hell, this is going to come as a huge shock to everybody. Well, except maybe Ann. (The woman nods) It certainly came as a huge shock to *me*... (The woman is nodding again even before Steve finishes the sentence) "Hi everybody, I've always subconsciously been a girl, I just never noticed because I had the Fire and my defense mechanisms against it in the way for a long time." They look at each other seriously and earnestly for a moment, then Steve breaks into laughter and the woman grins like a maniac. Steve: ^_^ I guess I *will* try that. The woman looks questioning. Steve: Well...'Ann' is taken, and I never liked 'Stephanie'. 'Eve' is similar to Steve but that's not necessarily a good thing... I'll have to think about it... Pause. Steve: How about Jetesse? (The woman gives a questioning look) "Girl-Type Steve". "GTS", or "G-Tess". Make it sound a little Frenchy, and you get "Jetesse". The woman looks dubious. Steve: I know, I know, I'm not French. Maybe something Celtic, for my surname? At that, the camera pulls back, the mist rolling back along the landscape. It still looks wrecked, but as the camera rises you can see the sky is blue and the sun is shining through a few wisps of cloud, and suddenly the landscape doesn't look nearly so grim. The camera pulls further up, towards the sun, and lens flare causes the scene to white out - --- Steve and Wing's room --- Steve's eyes open to see the white of the ceiling. She sits up, doing her buttons up, and hears a feminine giggle off to the side. Steve: Hi Ann. Ann: Really, nii-san, doing up your shirt like that. I didn't know you had such feminine modesty. Steve: (Similar teasing tone) Well of course I do, I subconsciously learned it from you. Ann: Oh? You actually wanted to learn some? Steve: (Sighs) Oh, there's a reason I learnt it alright. She has to know. Is this still a vision? It shouldn't be, not with the way the last one ended, but she has to be *sure*... She concentrates. There is a *sha-fwhoof*, a flame aura effect, and Steve is male again. He looks down at his body. So familiar, yet... disquieting. He changes back to female. Steve: (To herself) So this is reality, then... Ann: O_o Nii-san? Why'd you change back? Steve: That's 'nee-san' to you. ^_~ There is a heavy pause, and then Ann's mouth opens as realisation of Steve's changed manner dawns. Ann: Steve... er... nee-san... um... what's happened to you? You think you're a girl? Steve: Not *exactly*, but... Well, I had a vision, and I had an argument with a certain part of myself I'd been successfully ignoring for twenty-three years. You might have come across her. Ann: (blinkblink as further realisation dawns) ...oh. (blinkblinks some more) Ooohhhhhh. Steve: I was doomed to lose. (Pause, then she smiles) The good news is I won, too. Ann: You did indeed. They laugh. Ann: What are your plans for now? Steve: I don't think I'm wrong about this. I'm *sure* I'm not. But just in case I am, I'm going to treat the next little while as a trial period. Ann: How long are you thinking? Steve: Could be a month, or could be as short as the rest of the day. How long did it take you? Ann: About five minutes. They laugh some more, make plans, talk... In the mind of the person that was Steve, there's a niggling thought. It's going to be hell to explain this all to everyone, she muses. It's going to be harder for some than others. But she figures that for once in her life, she feels content, pleased... happy, even. (The end?) (...well, not really. Most definitely not the end. Rather, a new beginning. Possibly...) (...possibly not.) The scene fades... It fades to black. An indeterminate time later, the world explodes into motion and sound; Steve is being trampled by elephants while someone is shouting "DANGER DANGER DANGER ELEPHANTS AHEAD" into her ear from point-blank range. She turns to whack the person shouting into her ear, blinks and wakes up, and realises that she wasn't being trampled by elephants but getting shaken by the shoulder, and the shouting was not from a weird man in khakis and a pith helmet but a combination of Jo and the alarm clock. She... ...feels as if she's missing something, and there's a fleeting thought about things being just a dream, and then that is gone too. Jo: (Male form) Hey! Time to get up! Steve sits up, yawns hugely, stretching her arms up behind her head, and incidentally gives Jo quite an eyeful of the fact that her pyjama top is unbuttoned. Blinking muzzily, Steve starts doing her buttons up. Jo: O_o Uh, Steve, when did *you* develop feminine modesty? Steve: (Sleepily) Wha? (Looks down just as she finishes doing up the top button) Weird. I wasn't even thinking about what I was doing. Dunno why. Jo shakes his head. Steve is getting weirder all the time. This thought is reinforced several times over when Steve attempts to change back to male form. It comes as no surprise to the honoured readers that there is just a *sh-frrrrrp* sputtering noise and that the flame aura effect sputters out, leaving Steve unchanged. It does however come as a huge surprise to Jo, and an even larger one to Steve as she feels the incredibly disquieting and disturbing sensation of changing halfway to male and then back again, and yet at the same time it doesn't feel like a surprise at all. Steve: (looking shellshocked) Jo: Steve? Steve: (still looking shellshocked, shivering slightly) Jo: Hey, Steve! Steve: (yep, still looking shellshocked, and shivering madly) Jo: HEY! Steve: (Turning eyes that have seen Hell upon Jo; he steps back warily) ...I never want to go through that again. Jo: Huh? Steve: I just felt my... body start changing, slow down and stop at the halfway point, then changing back, speeding up along the way. The different speeds made me very *very* conscious of what was going on and how I was changing. I *never* want to go through that again. Jo tries to imagine that and fails. He concentrates on something else. Jo: Uh, but that'll leave you female. Steve: I can handle that until tomorrow morning, I think. I'll just make sure to go to bed early tonight and get plenty of sleep. Hopefully if I'm rested then, I'll be able to change back. Jo: You're not rested now? Steve: (Yawns hugely) No. I'm still bloody tired. Jo: (Grumbles) Well this was a great success... (Out loud) Unfortunately we still need you on the floor today. Steve: That's fine. I could do that in my sleep. Jo: Uh, no, that's not it. (Gives Steve a poke in the chest and she eeps in surprise) You're never going to fit into your current uniform with *these* in the way. Steve: (Goes red) Er, I guess not. Jo: I'll see what I can scrounge up. Jo departs, leaving Steve to sit there in her bed, contemplating these new circumstances in her life. So it seems that she'll be, for at least the rest of the day, a girl. She wonders at that, and why she doesn't feel all that bothered by it. If the past behaviour of Jo and Ranma is any indication, Steve should be currently stubbornly thinking "I'm a guy!" and going outside to smash bricks and do macho stuff to prove herself. But instead she just feels as if it's the latest in a long line of weird developments in her life, and hardly something to get stressed over. After all, come the next morning she should be able to change back. That is, if she gets enough sleep. And if she really wants to. The thought is gone before it is even fully formed, leaving Steve puzzled. Why shouldn't she want to change back? She hops out of bed, and goes forth into the new day. --- Author's Note --- Yes, yes, I know I've been saying forever and a day, "And that's it for Steve. Nothing else will happen to him. Really. I mean it this time. I promise." Well, I won't make that promise this time. Partly because I know I always come up with some new development for the poor guy, and partly because this fic/post leaves things unfinished anyway. At least it's not as abrupt as it was the first time around. - Steve ...your friendly neighbourhood weird-in-the-head weirdo